Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
