I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
