I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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