Plan B is the new Plan A
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
