I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
