so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
