dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
