I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I need to align my fucking chakras
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
