I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
