is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
