is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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