Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
