so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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