I am spending my child support on dildos
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
false alarm, still single
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