Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
