Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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