Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
