What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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