I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
