Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
