he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
