i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
