All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
