I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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