She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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