I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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