we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
