so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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