You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
