do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
