is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
