I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
