everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
