Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
