Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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