Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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