So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can feel your judgement through the phone
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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