I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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