dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So. Much. Porn.
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