just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I didn't notice because vodka
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
