Screwed.edu
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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