Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
