i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
