last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
