Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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