oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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