you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
