Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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