Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
