...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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