just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
