I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
