Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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