Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
