Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
